Staying authentic or being real is not easy in a world of reality TV, inflated egos, exaggerated success and fabricated identities.
It can feel like you need to put on a mask to get noticed, to attract attention or to make any kind of impact.
However, the problem with this strategy is that the world is tired of fake smiles and although we have become accustomed to following those stars of reality, in truth many people are looking for someone who is real, is authentic and who they can trust. They have become sceptical of fake news, rigged television shows and ‘celebs’ who are simply famous for being famous.
The world needs you to be your true self. Even if that world is just the few people you interact with on a daily basis. Your children need to you to be the best version of you so they can become the best version of them. Your partner needs you to be you so they can connect with the reasons you’re together. Your work colleagues need you to be you so they can benefit from your knowledge and your wisdom. The company you work for needs you to be you so you can show up and do your best. Your friends need you to be you so you can be honest and true with each other.
And you need you to be you so you can truly experience life in its fullest.
So how can you keep yourself real in a world that demonstrates the opposite?
Take Time Alone
Life has become a superhighway of information and we’re so often running between our real world responsibilities and the demands of a technological world, that there’s no time for anything else. Our ‘down time’ is television watching, Netflix and social media. Scrolling constantly through a news feed to keep up with what’s happening ‘out there’ instead of taking time to discover what’s happening ‘in here’.
Many people exist in some kind of hovering space, suspended apart from themselves as they live vicariously through others. Almost like watching the world flow around them without actually being a part of it. When we focus on what is outside of ourselves, instead of what is within, we become a version of everything we surround ourselves with.
How can you be real if you don’t take the time to connect with who you are?
To know yourself, you must take time to be with yourself. Being by yourself and entertained by technology is not alone time – it’s simply keeping yourself distracted. Alone time is time away from distractions. It’s taking a walk in nature, it’s meditating, it’s going for a long drive in silence, it’s journal writing, it’s a long bath on a cold evening. Alone time is you and yourself, alone and connected.
Put Your Needs First
Your needs are important. In fact, meeting your own needs is absolutely vital as it affects every part of your life. When we take care of others without also taking care of ourselves, we find we are in a constant state of reaction. We’re playing catch-up, constantly on the back foot, desperately trying to cope, to manage and to be all things to all people. This leaves little space for you to act from your true self.
But when you take care of yourself first, you can show up in all your glory. Instead of feeling fragmented and frazzled, you will be calm and capable. Instead of being irritable and overwhelmed, you will be happy and enjoy your interactions with others.
And it’s a reciprocal process. As you take care of yourself and show up being real, the people around you will also be happier, more content and more loving and kind to you.
Follow Your Peace
In between the madness that is modern life, there are moments of peace. A sometimes fleeting moment when you catch a glimpse of yourself. When your mind is quiet, when just for a second, you sit outside chaos and simply are.
Watch out for those moments. Learn to recognise them. It’s whatever makes you sigh in contentment. It’s when you feel most yourself. It’s when you’re being real. What surrounds those seconds of peace. Where are you? What are you doing?
By paying attention to those times when everything feels right in your world, no matter how fleeting they might be, you can begin to deliberately create an atmosphere of peace for yourself. Follow your peace. Step into your peace. This is where you will find balance, serenity and ultimately where you will find yourself.
Find Your Courage
Life has a way of bringing us to heel. We discover very quickly that there are certain things that are ‘normal’ and certain things that make us ‘weird’. And for sure there are rules of society that we need to obey to maintain order. But it’s the people who are prepared to be go through life being real no matter what the consequences, who truly live. Who change the world.
Courage lives in the heart of each of us but sometimes we lose it.
It becomes smaller each time we put ourselves ‘out there’ and get knocked down, but it never goes away. You can tap into that courage that saw you climb trees, run into the waves, make new friends, learn to drive and fall in love, anytime you choose.
I choose to be true to myself, despite the risk of ridicule from others, rather than try so hard to fit in that I end up incurring my own dislike – Allanah Hunt
Build Your Resilience
There’s courage and then there’s resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back when life knocks you down. It’s the ability to harness the strength within you to get up and try again. It’s the choice to never give up on life. Resilience is all about adapting. And more importantly, being willing to adapt. Nothing stands still and the tighter we hold on, the more we hurt.
Start by making small changes and tiny alterations. Put yourself in new situations. Use your courage and inner strength to build resilience for life so when the big things occur, as they ultimately will, you can grow and adapt. So you can embrace change without losing yourself.
Revel In Your Uniqueness
We all have things that make us unique and special but when we’re trying to ‘fit in’ we focus on our similarities to others rather than our differences. We hesitate to bring our sense of humour to a conversation for fear of ridicule. We dress in clothing that makes us indistinguishable from others and in doing so we extinguish our bright light.
We quiet our inner voice and instead show up in a way that we hope will make us acceptable.
We shy away from what brings us joy preferring to follow the crowd in apathy. We conform to an ideal we believe is ‘right’ instead of embracing our true uniqueness.
Don’t be a clone that belongs. Be brave and allow your specialness to come out of the darkness where it is hiding. Let it break forth and revel in it. Buy that item of clothing that keeps drawing your eye. Let your spontaneity burst forth and see where it goes. Allow yourself to be different from those you currently know and pay attention to the new people you meet. As you allow your uniqueness to shine, others can too.
Share Yourself
Being real comes from deep within you. It’s that part of you that is brave, that part of you that is resilient, that part of you that is at peace. When you’re completely connected to your real self, you will automatically show up in the world as you.
You will lower the masks that have allowed you to feel safe but have ultimately become a pretence that is painful. You will stand a little taller, smile a little wider and laugh a little louder. Your natural beauty, inside and out, will begin to shine more brightly and your eyes will sparkle with authenticity. People will fall in love with you, admire and trust you as you step more fully into your realness.
And those who don’t can simply go on their way. You can let them go in the knowledge that nothing is ever lost.
Even if you miss them for a moment, you’ve missed yourself even more.
And now that you’re here, you will stay true to you no matter what.
Because you are too important to sit on the side-lines of your own life.
Because it’s time to be real
It’s time to be YOU!
Hi, I'm Allanah, Author, Teacher, Manifestation Mentor and Empowerment Coach. My mission is to help you discover the power you have to create your life in a way that brings joy, happiness and freedom. I teach you how to harness the power of The Law of Attraction and bring yourself into alignment with those things you want to experience.
0 Comments