Does Your Life Feel Like Groundhog Day?

Does Your Life Feel Like Groundhog Day?

by | Jan 21, 2016 | Energy, Law of Attraction, Manifestation | 0 comments

A number of years ago a film was released called Groundhog Day and starring Bill Murray. Set in Pennsylvania, Murray plays a professionally unfulfilled weatherman sent to follow the annual Groundhog Day festivities that have been celebrated since 1887.

The dictionary defines Groundhog Day as ‘a situation where a set of unwelcome or tedious events seem to be recurring in exactly the same way’.

Do you feel like you’re living the same day over and over again?

 The film is a comedy about a man who lives the same day over and over again. Every morning he wakes up to the same song on the radio and interacts with the same people in the same order in exactly the same way. It takes him a few days to figure out what is happening and each morning he awakes with hope for a new day. Inevitably he realises that he is stuck in a time loop and no matter what he does during the day, he wakes to repeat it again.

For a time he behaves erratically as he feels helpless to change the apparently endless cycle of repetitive events. However, eventually he takes a look at himself and decides that if he has to live the same day over and over again, he will live it well. He puts on a cheerful face and does what he can to help others. As he changes his thoughts about the day, his experience also changes. Eventually he learns what he needs to and he wakes to a new day.

Sometimes life can feel like Groundhog Day as we continue to create the events of our past in our current time. However, just like Bill Murray, the power to change your experience comes from you. If you are tired of living in a cycle of pain, rejection or anger, then you can do something about it. Your life is a direct result of the thoughts, words and actions you decide to take.

Freeing yourself from the pain of the past is as simple as changing your perception about it. Simple but not necessarily easy. It will take a concerted effort for the first little while but in time it can become an automatic part of how you think, speak and act. Master your thoughts and watch your world change. You will no longer relive Groundhog Day but will create new experiences filled with joy and freedom.

How would it feel to break the pattern?

5 Ways To Bring Your Dreams To Life

5 Ways To Bring Your Dreams To Life

by | Aug 14, 2015 | It's All About You, Law of Attraction, Manifestation

Growing up with fairy tales, stories of heroes and mystical adventures, we are exposed to ideas that seem to bear little resemblance to the often mundane and responsibility filled experience of adulthood. The little girl who believed she would grow up and meet her handsome prince is somewhat demoralised when she discovers that in fact no-one is coming to rescue her. And the young boy who flew around his living room wearing his superhero cape soon discovers that the tools he needs in life are very different than those in the stories of his youth.

And today as we live in a world dominated by celebrities who seem to have it all we often think;  

“Lucky them. If only I had their money, or their opportunities … then I would be happy. It’s okay for them but no-one is going to make that happen for me.”

Well that last statement is certainly true.

Nobody is going to come along and magically make your dreams come true.

But despite how it looks, that is not what happened for them either.

In order to make your ‘dreams come true’ you must first get clear about what they are. Most of us have an idle wish that passes through our mind from time to time. Things like:

“I wish I had a big house like that one” or “I wish I didn’t have to work for someone” or “I wish I could just go to the beach today”.

And most of us believe that these wishes, desires or ‘dreams’ could be solved by having more money. So we buy a lottery ticket and sit determinedly in front of the television hoping agains hope that tonight will be our night. This week my numbers will come up.

But what if you had a different view?

What if instead of waiting and wishing you got really clear about your dreams?

What if you turned your dreams into goals?

Not for one moment am I suggesting that you can go against the laws of the universe and suddenly start to fly but there are dreams we hold within our hearts that are achievable.

“If someone else can do it … why not you?”

I remember reading about Thomas Edison when he was working to create what we now call the light bulb. We never give a thought to this as we push a little switch which illuminates our world. But Mr Edison tried and failed 1000 times before he finally created this previously unknown little glow. And all around him were people saying that he was dreaming. That what he believed in was impossible. And it was to them. It was only through his absolute devotion to his belief that it could be done, and his determination to follow through no matter what, that we now have not only the light bulb but all the technology that the ‘impossibility’ of the light bulb has enabled us to see.

You may not wish to change the world like Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein or Leonardo Di Vinci but what about making changes in your world?

What is it that you truly want? If you just have a passing fancy about something then that is all it will be. A wish, a fantasy and as real as a fairy tale. But if you have a passion for something and believe in it, then you have the power to bring it to life.

Visualise Your Life

One of the most important components to having your dreams come true is the ability to believe it. In order to believe in it, you must make it real for you. Close your eyes and imagine that your dream is reality. What does it look like? What does it taste like? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it feel like? Use all your five senses to bring your mind’s creation to life. What are you wearing whilst you are living your dream? Where do you live? What surrounds you? It is difficult to believe in an ideal but if you visualise yourself already living the life of your dreams, and bring this vision to life every day, then it will start to become real to you. Your brain cannot tell the difference between something ‘real’ and a dream unless you doubt its existence. And your wonderful brain only does as its told so if you bring your dream to life in your mind to such an extent that you can feel it in every cell in your body, then your brain will help you make it true.

Feel The Fear

Fear of failure keeps so many people from their dreams. Holding on to dreams gives us hope for the future but if we fail, we must give up on that dream. Sometimes the power of a dream is so strong that without it, we lose some of our sense of identity. If your sense of self is tied up with something ‘out there’ that you say you will achieve one day, but you do nothing about it, then you are likely to spend an enormous amount of time and effort making excuses or blaming outside influences for the failure of your dreams. 

There are two types of fear. Paralysing fear and exhilarating fear. We see people jumping out of planes, paddling through rapids and throwing themselves off bridges with nothing but a rope attached to their ankles. These people are afraid but they use the fear to motivate them. Other people allow the fear to paralyse them. We all have a different level of comfort when it comes to taking a risk but you can work with your own and expand it by taking action steps which fall very close to your current comfort level. In time as you discover that in fact there is nothing to fear, you will begin to push the boundaries of what is possible for you.

Clarify Your Dream

You cannot create something new until you know what it is you want. So whether your dream is to become a successful musician, to run you own business or to become fit and healthy you need to be clear about how that looks. Sometimes when we ask ourselves the right questions, we discover that we are so focused on the way our life will look if our dream was true that we can’t actually see our path to get there. The gap between where you are and where you want to be is so big that it feel insurmountable.

What does being fit and healthy mean to you? Is it feeling better in yourself so that you can have a greater quality of life? Do you want to look like the models in magazines? Or do you want to look the way you did 10 years ago?

If you want to be a ‘successful’ musician, what does that success look like? Do you need to be famous and rich or is making a living singing in clubs successful?

When you get clear about the measure you are using for your dream, you can alter your parameters thereby allowing you to see it as a possibility rather than an impossibility.

Create Mini Dreams

A dream is not an easily achievable ideal otherwise you would have it already. The reason you have not achieved it yet is that it feels too big. Breaking your dream down into ‘mini-dreams’ brings it closer to you, allowing you to take action.

Your dream to be fit and healthy may involve a smaller dream of being able to go to a high street store and purchase a new dress off the rack in your size. Or it may involve being able to walk for 30 minutes without stopping.

Your dream of becoming a successful musician may start with the dream of securing a one off unpaid gig in your local pub or restaurant. It may even involve busking on the streets at the weekend and getting paid a few dollars over the course of each day.

To run your own business you may first need to get one client to fit in around your full time job or sell one product online.

When you achieve your mini-dreams the bigger picture doesn’t seem quite so far away.

Be Committed

Your dreams will be nothing more than a wish unless you take action toward them. Even if the action you take each day seems tiny, the fact that you are doing something will move your dreams ever closer. Keep a watch out for opportunities which exist around you that you may not have previously seen. It is only when we make something real that we can see possible ways to bring it to life.

In short, the things you are passionate about are coming from your true nature. Not the person the world wants you to be, or the person you thought you were supposed to be, but the person you truly desire to be. Some people say its your calling, your souls expression or your creative spirit shining through. Whatever definition you put around it, know that there is something in you that yearns for more than your current reality. Its up to you to clarify what that is, whether its something you actually want or just a passing whim and whether you are prepared to do what it takes to bring it to life.

Dreams really can come true.

If other people can make their dreams come true … why can’t you?

This 6 Letter Word Will Sabotage Your Happiness

This 6 Letter Word Will Sabotage Your Happiness

by | Jul 15, 2015 | Energy, Law of Attraction, Manifestation

There’s a word that most of us use on a regular basis that can have a detrimental effect on our self-esteem and our motivation. It’s only a small word, just six letters, but it has a massive impact on the way we view ourselves and our success in life.

We speak to ourselves almost continuously and the things we say, and the words we use, shape our lives. A lot of what we say is unconscious and goes on in the background without us being aware of it. But just because you haven’t listened to what you’re saying, doesn’t mean you’re not hearing it.

The brain works a bit like a groove on an LP. The needle goes around and around in the grooves, playing the same piece of music every time, no matter how many times you play it. In the same way, the words you say, whether in your mind or out loud, will create an automatic way of thinking.

So what is this 6 letter word that will sabotage your happiness?

The word ‘should’ is such a small word that we almost don’t hear it.

“I really should …”.

Sounds harmless enough doesn’t it? Sometimes we use this word because we want to be accepted by the people we are with. Other times we see or hear something which has improved the life of someone else and think perhaps it may help us too.

But mostly we use this word because we are not taking the action we think we ‘should’.

Perhaps you wish to lose weight or start an exercise program and tell yourself “I really should go to the gym today”; or “I really shouldn’t eat that chocolate brownie”.  Or maybe you have a partner who is abusive and say, “I really should break up with this person”.

Whatever your particular circumstances, the effect of the word ‘should’ is the same. See, the problem with continuing to say ‘should’, is that you are essentially beating yourself up on every occasion. You believe you ‘should’ be doing something but you know you are not. You are judging yourself which produces guilt and sabotages your happiness.

So how can you release yourself from this guilt? 

Ask yourself, “Why do I believe I should be doing this?”

Is it based on other people’s expectations?

We live in a world where there are certain stereotypes which are considered desirable, acceptable and the ‘norm’. In many cases, they are unrealistic, impossible or simply the result of an advertising campaign to sell you something. If your use of the word ‘should’ is based on other people’s expectations, or your desire to ‘fit in’, then it’s not really about you at all. You will never find the motivation you need to make changes if this is your truth. And why would you beat yourself up for something someone else believes? Madness huh? This is your life and you never, ever need to justify yourself to anyone else. Accept yourself as you are and let the ‘should’ go.

Is it something you really want to do?

Oftentimes you wish something were different, you want the results that you believewill show up once the change is made, but for some reason you just don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. You feel hopeless as you cannot see how anything can change and helpless to do anything about it. You are completely powerless in this position and the pain you feel as a result is overwhelming.

If you really want things to change then the second question is the most important.

“If I really want to change, what is stopping me?”

It takes a strong desire to motivate change. Even if our current reality is painful, weirdly, we often prefer a familiar pain to the adaptations we may need to make to create something different. In this case, the fear of the unknown is keeping us stuck in a pattern of behaviour which is paralysing. Whilst some people are motivated by the desire for something different, more commonly people are motivated to change because the pain of their current situation is more intense than the fear of the unknown. And things have to get pretty bad before we can acknowledge this.

J. K. Rowling says, “Rock bottom became the foundation on which I built my life“, and this is true for many of us. It is only when we are in despair that we find the strength to move beyond the pain into the life of power and freedom we desire. Pain motivates us to take action.

Sometimes however, you don’t have the information or skills you need to go about these changes. If you have lived your whole life in a certain way, then to do something different seems impossible.  But doing things differently is the only way to get a different result and therefore asking for help is often the first step to take.

Make a decision today to take the word ‘should’ out of your dictionary and choose your path to happiness either through letting go of expectations which don’t concern you, or by asking for help to take the steps you need to enact change. In either case, in the moment you choose, you are reclaiming your personal power and stepping into freedom from guilt and helplessness. And happiness will be your reward …

Who Do You See In The Mirror?

Who Do You See In The Mirror?

by | Jun 26, 2015 | Emotions, Law of Attraction, Manifestation

Every morning when my partner gets out of bed to ready himself for work, a small voice calls out mournfully, “that’s not me”, and I laugh to myself knowing he has either passed the mirror in the hallway or seen his face in the bathroom mirror. He jokes that it takes an hour for his face to bounce back to something resembling the image he expects to see.

And certainly there are mornings when I look in mirror and wonder what on earth happened to the young woman who used to look back at me. There are lines around my eyes, my chin doesn’t sit quite as pertly as it once did and my hair is going distinctly grey under the colour I torture it with.

I often say that nature must have a sense of humour as it seems the older I get, the less I can see.

But beyond the lines that time is drawing on my face, I see a woman who is smart, capable, warm and kind, friendly and one who genuinely cares about her friends, family and the world around her.

It wasn’t always this way.

For many years I was cruel and unkind to myself, focusing on the things that weren’t perfect about my body, my lack of tertiary education and my poor background. The woman who looked back at me was unsmiling, overweight, drab and almost invisible.

She was a direct reflection of the person I saw myself to be.

The more critical and judgemental I was toward myself the more my mirror image seemed to fade. Not in a physical sense as there was plenty of my body to go around, but in a way that was nonetheless tangible. It was if the light inside of me was being extinguished and I was becoming a shadow without a voice.

I did all the usual things. Started yet another diet, started going to the gym believing that if only I could lose some weight, then I would be able to find happiness. I refreshed my wardrobe with beautiful clothes as if I could hide myself inside them. Perhaps if I looked good on the outside, then the inside would catch up.

It didn’t work

No matter what I did to improve the way I looked on the outside, the inside still showed through. The person I truly believed I was, the one I criticised constantly, still greeted me each and every morning in the mirror. It really had nothing to do with what number was on the scale, what colour my shoes were, or what car I drove. It all had to do with me. To do with the way I saw myself.

How do I know this?

You may be familiar with this quote.

Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself

It was a large part of the background of my life and I hear it so often over social media and from parents as they raise their children. And its great advice to remember whenever we are interacting with others. I reminds us to be kind, to be loving, to be accepting, to never judge, to be empathetic and to care.

But how does this help you?

Lets see what happens when we move a couple of words around.

Treat yourself how you would like others to treat you

If you care how you treat others, many of whom are total strangers, why are you not caring for the one person who will be with you every moment of your entire life? What a difference it makes when you move a few words around. Imagine if you have been raised with this resounding in your ears? Imagine how different your life would be if you had been taking care of yourself all your life?

So if we go back to the mirror now … what do you see? Do you see someone who has been nurtured with love, kindness and care? Someone who has been praised for the successes in life? Someone who shines with the knowledge that they are important and valued?

If not, then this is your moment.

This is the day you begin again.

Don’t you dare give yourself a hard time for giving yourself a ‘hard time’ all your life. No more self abuse, no more cruelty, no more unkindness.

Its time to stand up for yourself. You do not need to take a kicking ever again.

Imagine you are meeting yourself for the first time. Greet yourself with the smile you would give to a new friend. Lean forward and give yourself a virtual hello hug.

Start by asking yourself a few questions.

  • How are you?
  • How’s your day been?
  • What have you got planned for the rest of the day?

These are the types of questions someone might ask you when you visit their store. Ask these questions and any others you would ask a new acquaintance. Be genuinely interested in the answers. Imagine you are introducing yourself to someone new.

When you get dressed in the morning be as complimentary as you would be to your best friend. Take pride in how you look, smile at yourself in the mirror, put your shoulders back and stride out confidently. Keep reminding yourself to stand straight, look people in the eye and smile.

And then watch what happens.

The more confident you are, the more people will be drawn to you.

And as you smile at others they will smile back giving you a lift and reinforcing your decision to care for yourself.

It will take time to reprogram your brain as you have been behaving a certain way towards yourself your whole life. Keep practising. Keep deciding and each day you will feel a little lighter.

Remember …

Treat yourself how you would like others to treat you

and watch your life change 

How Our Addiction To Drama Fuels Our Lives

How Our Addiction To Drama Fuels Our Lives

by | Jun 23, 2015 | Energy, Law of Attraction, Manifestation

Life on film, television and in our favourite novels is depicted as a series of dramatic moments between characters. Full of conflict, the tension builds as you ride a roller-coaster of emotion until eventually the events unfurl into a conclusion which tugs at your deepest heart strings. The pain and suffering our virtual friends endure would floor the best of us.

But there is something about the drama which keeps us coming back for more. We need to know what happens next, how our hero or heroine will survive the next scrape, who will get together with whom, and who the ‘baddie’ is. And no matter how unrealistic the storyline becomes, we soak up the emotions as we enjoy the ride.

Gossip is like this too. The person who gossips is getting a thrill from the telling of someone else’s misfortune and the person being told feels important to know. It sets up a cycle of emotion that can feel exciting and even more so when the gossip is particularly juicy. It doesn’t matter whether the gossip is true or false as long as it’s as dramatic as possible. The more controversial the story the more enthralled we become.

Drama does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it, or associate with it ~ Brandi L. Bates

We live in a society that thrives on drama, that is in many ways built on drama – you only have to watch the daily news to experience this.

What happens to your brain when you see drama played out on the screen or in your life?

Your brain cannot tell the difference between something that is real and something that is imaginary. So when you watch drama or engage in gossip, the same chemicals are released as would be present if the events were happening to you. This charges your body with strong hormones giving you a temporary ‘high’ in a way which is similar to exercise. And these hormones can become addictive.

What happens is we get used to, almost numbed by the constant presence of these hormones and need more drama to achieve the same result. This is why the storylines in your favourite soap opera have become more outrageous over time. What used to elicit an emotion from you, now leaves you cold. So, the writers need to come up with ever more elaborate scripts to keep you hooked.

Not all drama is created by other people. Sure there are those who seem to live in a constant state of drama but there are degrees and in our current society it is difficult to avoid it all together.

Maturity starts when drama ends

Now you might be asking what this has to do with you?

Well, imagine your life is like a television show. Most of the time life is fairly humdrum, nothing much really happens on a day to day basis. We can find ourselves bored, tired of doing the same seemingly meaningless tasks day in and day out. Can you imagine watching a TV show where nothing happens? The characters get up, drop the kids to school, go to work, spend eight hours at a desk and then leave to do it all again in reverse.

So what do we do?

We create drama to relieve the monotony of our lives. Most of the time we do this without being aware of it. You may be bored and irritated so pick a fight with your partner. Or perhaps one of the kids drops their food on the floor you have just cleaned and instead of handling it calmly, on this occasion you yell at them. Perhaps you call a friend and have a moan about your partner, the kids, your boss at work … this creates drama as you paint a picture to your friend. Because your emotions are heightened, the story gets embellished with your feelings, it becomes bigger in your own mind than it probably is and you believe the version of events you are telling. And if you friend also has a story to tell … well you get the picture. Suddenly the events under discussion take on a life of their own becoming a soap opera in which the two of you are the main characters.

You each come off the phone feeling better. Someone has listened and most likely sympathised with your version of events and you have released some pent up energy. So the next time you feel annoyed, stressed or irritated, you do the same thing. And before long, you forget how to manage your own emotions and begin to become addicted to drama and the ‘high’ it creates. And as a result, you live your life lurching from one drama to the next. Even the smallest thing can be seen in a dramatic way. Your emotions are all over the place as the chemicals in your brain keep you in a constant state of imbalance.

Now you may be smiling as you recognise yourself, or nodding as you recognise someone else. Whilst there is an initial buzz, constant drama is exhausting. It leaves you drained of energy as the chemicals released in your brain actually damage the cells of your body. It also leaves the people around you exhausted as they endeavour to keep up with the soap opera you have created.

Learning to find balance is vital if you want peaceful and meaningful relationships – relationships with others and more importantly with yourself. If you become addicted to drama, you may find yourself overthinking, overanalysing aspects of your life until you drive yourself crazy. Drama is based in insecurity, fear, anger and helplessness. It is never created by love, joy, happiness or peace.

Drama = Stress

You may believe you are reducing stress by getting your thoughts and feelings out but there are healthier ways to do this.

  • write your feelings in a diary
  • go for a walk or a run
  • listen to music until you feel your mind relax
  • have a bubble bath
  • remove yourself from people until you feel calm
  • focus on the great things in your life

Become aware of when you are creating drama. And pay attention when other people create drama. Speak with a calm voice. Provide balance or keep quiet when someone is living their own soap opera. They want to feel the drama, they want to be the centre of attention and when you give it to them, it escalates engulfing both of you.

Take care of yourself by deciding not to ‘buy in’ to the drama addiction. Your life will change dramatically 🙂

4 Ways To Reduce Anxiety When you Feel Afraid Of Life

4 Ways To Reduce Anxiety When you Feel Afraid Of Life

by | Jun 22, 2015 | Emotions, Law of Attraction, Manifestation

I don’t know about you but I’ve had times in my life when I’ve been afraid. Not the kind of afraid you feel when a bird comes swooping towards you, or the type of scary that a horror movie brings about but the sort of afraid that leaves you gasping for breath. The kind of scary that leaves you paralysed like a hedgehog in a car’s headlights. The type of afraid that has nothing to do with where you are or what surrounds you, but the terrifying that lives deep within you and follows you everywhere.

Do you know the sort of afraid I mean?

It seems strange that in western countries where we have little to truly be afraid of, no lions or tigers, no soldiers roaming the streets, no exploding bombs, that we can be so deeply traumatised by life that we simply cease to live it. And yet this has been my experience and those of many people I have met over the years. It seems the less we have to be afraid of the more fearful we  actually are.

So what is it that terrifies us so?

In our current culture there seems to be a need for certainty, a desire to understand what the future looks like and to know for sure that we are going to be okay. We are taught that life is ‘supposed’ to look a certain way and when it doesn’t measure up, or we are worried that it may not, we become afraid. But the truth is that life is constantly changing. In fact change is the only thing you can rely on.

So how do we marry up our need for certainty with the uncertainty of life?

The only way is through the acceptance of what is. It is the constant fight against the reality we see, and the uncertainty of what may come that causes us to be anxious and afraid. When we give up the fight and surrender to what is, we have the opportunity to start from where we are and build anew. Fighting will make you feel out of control whereas acceptance puts the power back in your hands.

Be in the moment

If you want to be sad, live in the past. If you want to be anxious, live in the future. If you want to be peaceful … Live In The Now

The past is anything that has happened prior to this minute. We often think of the past as being less recent. Perhaps a few weeks, months or several years ago. But anything that isn’t ‘now’ is in either the past or the future. So the quickest way to acceptance is to live in the present moment. It is the only place you have any power. In this moment you can choose your responses, choose your thoughts and choose your actions.

Focus on what you have

Never let the things you want let you forget the things you have

Being grateful for what you have, rather than focusing on what you have lost or don’t have yet, will remind you of the good that exists around you. Keep your eye firmly on your reasons to be thankful and you will begin to see more reasons to be grateful.

Find joy in the little things

You don’t have the power to make life fair but you do have the power to make life joyful

Finding joy in the little things allows you to feel more joy. Be glad that there is a flower blooming outside your window. Be happy when you hear the laughter of children in the street, at the school or in the supermarket. Smile when you see an animal at play or hear the birds sing. Turn you face up to the sun and breath deeply. Allow happy memories to come to mind.

Give yourself permission to be happy

Happiness is a conscious choice not an automatic response ~ Mildred Barthel

Its incredible to think that we need to give ourselves permission to be happy but for most of us this is the truth. Giving yourself permission to be happy, despite the reality you believe you see, shifts your focus. You will still have moments of sadness but these will be balanced by the happiness that you choose to feel. It really is that simple.

So next time you feel afraid of life remember to find joy in the little things, be grateful for what you have, smile and focus on this moment, right now. As you do, your fear will melt away leaving only the sunshine of your happiness. 

 

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