10 Ways To Reduce Stress

10 Ways To Reduce Stress

by | May 24, 2015 | Emotions, Law of Attraction, Manifestation | 0 comments

When life changes and you find yourself adapting to new circumstances or strong emotions, your body will react as if it is in danger, releasing adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) which will impact your health. Finding healthy ways to manage stress helps you balance the difficult times so you can cope.

Breathe 

Your rate of breathing lets you know when you are stressed. If you are breathing quickly and shallowly, chances are you are under stress. Take a moment to lie on the floor or your bed. This gives your diaphragm the chance to rest whilst your torso is stretched out.  Pay close attention to your breathing concentrating on slowing your breaths in and out. Your heart and lungs work together, so as you slow your breath, you will also slow your heart rate. Keep focused on your breathing for 5-10 minutes and you will feel much calmer.

Meditate

Meditation works best when sitting in a comfortable chair where you feel safe. Slow your breathing and really concentrate on the feeling of your breath as it tickles the spot just beneath your nose. Focusing on this one spot keeps your mind in your control whilst you work to slow your breath and heart rate. Once you are feeling calm repeat some positive statements which feel powerful for you. You could say “I am completely safe in this moment and nothing can harm me” or I am surrounded by love”. Find something ahead of time that feels good for you and repeat your statements until you feel reenergised.

Be Present

Most stress occurs when we focus on the past or project into the future. Focus your mind on one activity at a time. If you are eating, just focus on the food and the act of chewing. If you are walking, focus on your feet as they hit the ground. Bringing things back to the most simple of activities allows you to be completely present in the moment.

Reach Out 

Your friends and family can provide a fantastic support for you when you are struggling. Let people know what is going on for you face to face, if possible, or at least over the phone. Sometimes you get stuck in your head; speaking with someone else helps you gain a new perspective and creates connection.

Tune In To Your Body

Pay attention to your body. We all have natural rhythms which ebb and flow throughout the day. Your body will let you know when it is out of sync so pay attention to your eating and sleeping habits as well as your digestion as these are alerts that something is different.

Decompress

Place a warm heat wrap around your neck and shoulders for 10 minutes. Close your eyes and relax your face, neck, upper chest and back muscles. Remove the wrap and use a tennis ball to massage away any tension. Do this by placing the ball between you and a wall and rolling slightly up and down with a pressure which feels comfortable to you.

Laugh Out Loud

Laughter is a great way to relieve stress. Even if the last thing you feel like doing is laughing, you can force yourself to smile in the mirror or act as would if you were laughing for real. Join a laughing yoga class or watch funny movies. Laughter will benefit your body chemistry as well as relax your mind

Music 

Put on your favourite sounds and feel the music as you go about your day. Relaxing music is good for stress release but if you have dance tunes these shift your energy to a higher plane and make you smile. Dance as if nobody is watching and you will feel relaxed and revitalised.

Get Moving

Physical movement gets the blood flowing through your body giving you energy and releasing stress releasing hormones which help our brain think more clearly. You do not need to do anything vigorous, but walking, yoga or simply taking the stairs will help. If you cannot get out or are unable to exercise then some simple stretching exercises will give you the same benefit. Try to be active for at least 15 – 20 minutes each day and you will help to balance the negative effects of stress.

Be Grateful

Each day take a moment before you go to bed to write at least one positive thing you experienced during the day. It could be a smile from a stranger, a hand on your arm from someone who cares, a bird in the garden or a phone call from a friend. Paying attention to the simple interactions you have each day and noting them in your diary shifts your focus to a more positive place.

Practice these skills and you will find your overall stress levels reduce adding to your sense of happiness and joy.

The 4 SuperPowers You Already Possess

The 4 SuperPowers You Already Possess

by | May 2, 2015 | Law of Attraction, Manifestation | 0 comments

Most of us have grown up seeing Heroes/Heroines on television and in the movies; the men and women who wear a cape and possess superhuman powers to help them triumph in every situation. Superman who can fly around the world in just a few seconds or Wonder Woman with her lasso, they fight for truth and justice saving mankind from all kinds of evil villains.

Superheroes have been a recurring theme throughout popular culture and I have often wondered what it is that attracts us so much. Is it simply the fact that good wins over evil? Or perhaps its the idea that someone will come to your rescue when life becomes difficult. Sadly, as far as I am aware, neither Superman nor Wonder Woman live on our mortal plane; no feisty woman or strong man is going to save you from the pain that comes with loss.

So what are you to do when you really need a SuperHero?

Well, there’s only one thing for it. You will have to do a Clark Kent and transform into a Hero/Heroine yourself!

But how?

On the screen we see our SuperHeroes exhibit physical powers but in truth there are  four fundamental abilities that lie at the heart of all SuperPowers.

1. STRENGTH – the ability to endure. No matter what situation they find themselves in a SuperHero will never give up, never accept defeat and will fight to the death if necessary to ensure that right is upheld. Similarly, even when it feels that your pain will never end, you have the strength to hold on. Focus only on the current moment and what you can do right now to be strong. Sometimes all you can do is get through the next 10 minutes. And then the 10 minutes after that until the time you can deal with gets longer. Before you know it you can do an hour, a day, a week or more. Imagine yourself in a storm which is trying to blow you off your feet. By leaning into the wind you can stand upright; in the same way you can lean into your emotional storm until it eases.

2. COURAGE – the ability to overcome fear. SuperHeroes always show courage in the face of whatever their enemy throws at them. Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to face it. Fear is based upon a horror story you have told yourself about the future. You have the power to create your life any way you choose and when you understand this, you will find the strength and courage to face your fear and pop it like a balloon. Fear has no power over you unless you choose to believe it.

3. HONESTY – the ability to face the truth. SuperHeroes always tell the truth no matter what the cost to them personally. But what is the truth? Because we live in our own heads we can only see things from our perspective. However, the truth is made up of lots of different colours which need to be painted together to see the whole picture. Stepping back from what you know and embracing a new perspective requires absolute honesty. If you have the strength and the courage to face the truth you will free yourself from pain and suffering.

4. RESPONSIBILITY – the ability to be accountable. Our favourite Superheroes understand that no-one else can defeat the enemy and save the world. They accept that it is up to them and that if they fail, the world will be destroyed. Responsibility takes strength, courage, honesty and a willingness to face the consequences of your choices/actions. Once you take responsibility for your life, the good and the bad, you will be awarded a SuperHero or SuperHeroine cape. You choose the colour. Responsibility is the ultimate SuperPower and contains within it everything you could possibly need to move beyond your pain and into a life of freedom and joy.

Becoming your own SuperHero or SuperHeroine involves making the decision to reach down deep inside and reclaim the powers that have always been yours. As Buzz Lightyear would say, “to infinity and beyond!”

5 Simple Ways To Get Through A Sad Day

5 Simple Ways To Get Through A Sad Day

by | Apr 8, 2015 | Emotions, Energy

When a relationship breaks up, you are going through a separation or divorce or you lose someone or something you love, you can feel overwhelmed by sadness. Pain is a part of life but there are things you can do to help yourself float through the most difficult days.

Accept your feelings

It’s okay to feel sad. Sadness is a natural reaction to loss and as such it’s important that you acknowledge the feeling and accept it. Do not focus on the cause of your sadness but becoming aware of your feelings gives you the power to choose your response. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions.

Be kind to yourself

On sad days you will likely feel vulnerable and sensitive. Understand that your emotions are heightened and be kind to yourself. Your responsibilities will continue but you can be gentle with your expectations of yourself. Do what you must and then nurture yourself with a bath, DVD, massage, good book or your favourite music. The kindness you show to yourself will help you regain your balance.

Smile at yourself in the mirror

When we are sad the idea of smiling feels very far away. But the physical action of smiling releases good chemicals in the brain which act as an antidote to intense sadness. When you feel the sadness return, take a moment to smile through your tears. It is as if the sun is shining through the rain.

Take yourself on a date 

Breaking the routine of your life can be a great way to reduce sadness. It’s like interrupting a repetitive pattern and shifts your focus. You may still feel the sadness but the very act of taking yourself out on a date shifts the focus from your loss to you. Go for a walk in nature, take yourself out to dinner, a movie or join a night class or exercise class.

Be with people

Sadness can make you feel very alone and isolated. Get outside of yourself by interacting with others. Catch up with a friend or family member, volunteer at a homeless shelter or retirement home. There are many people who feel just as alone as you do. When you connect with others you can see yourself through their eyes.

Sadness can seem never ending but preparing yourself ahead of time allows you to have strategies in place to cope. Focussing on your pain or loss will cause more suffering but acceptance will allow you to rise above your feelings and let them float away.

Remember, you are not your feelings – they simply follow from your thoughts. Change your thoughts and you change your emotions.

Have You Really Made A Mistake?

Have You Really Made A Mistake?

by | Apr 6, 2015 | Emotions, Law of Attraction, Manifestation | 0 comments

To be honest, I don’t like the word ‘mistake’. It conjures up images of school teachers, punishment, penance and makes me feel like a naughty child. I instantly feel smaller as if somehow I have shrunk like Alice in Wonderland.

And how do you recognise that something is a mistake? It is not until a choice you made turns out differently than you hoped for, that you categorise it as an ‘error’ or ‘mistake’.

But surely at the time it was what you wanted?

They say hindsight is 20/20 but when we look back, we often forget the thoughts and emotions which were a part of the decision at the time. And when we judge something as a mistake, we also tend to judge ourselves for our poor ‘judgement’. The minute you judge yourself, you become the taskmaster, the school teacher or the priest who is looking to punish you for a ‘wrongdoing’.

Every time you judge yourself, you break your own heart

Some of the changes which happen in life, are not things you would actively choose for yourself but instead the result of someone else’s decisions. Even in this case, you can be tempted to look back and question why you didn’t see a truth which now appears so obvious. But I want you to think about something.

I know I am not the same person I was when I was 20, nor will I be the person I am today, in 20 years time.  This is true for everyone I know and also for you. My friends, my family, we all grow, change and often the things we wanted at one stage of our life no longer bring us happiness at another. Life is not a straight line but a constantly evolving exciting and unpredictable journey. And sometimes we just want to experience something new.

Before we make a decision to move toward something, we create a vision in our mind of what it will look like. What our life will look like with the addition we have made. And with that vision comes a set of expectations. Expectations that say that we will be happier, that it will last forever, that … fill in the blanks. But no matter how much we want life to live up to our expectations, it never does and the disappointment we feel when things change can leave us feeling like a failure.

But why would you beat yourself up for making a ‘mistake’ when in fact things have simply changed? Sometimes it’s you that has changed, sometimes someone else and at other times it is the circumstances around you that have altered.

They key is to change the way you look at your choices. Both the choices you have already made and the many which you will make throughout the rest of your life.

In fact why don’t you take a moment right now to make a decision?

Make the decision to see your life as a series of choices which bring experiences. Some of these may feel painful, others joyful and some frightening. But each and every one of them brings something amazing to you. You may not see it now, but be assured that these choices, these experiences are making up the moments of your life.

There is no blame, no mistake and no failure. There is simply the choice to stay stuck in the past or to embrace the joy of this moment.

I know which one I choose … what about you?

Are You In The Pursuit Of Happiness?

Are You In The Pursuit Of Happiness?

by | Mar 28, 2015 | Emotions, It's All About You | 0 comments

Where can you find happiness?

People talk about happiness as if it is tangible and when you look in the right place you will find it. For some, happiness is achieved through their career, their wealth or their home, whilst others find happiness in their children or a romantic relationship.

The Pursuit of Happiness is at the root of our current society as we look for instant gratification through ‘retail therapy’ (shopping), food, sex, alcohol, drugs and prestige. The need to feel accepted, to be good enough – these are some of the emotions we use to define happiness. 

As we have more, we feel we are more. 

And this feeling of being ‘better’ keeps us in a cycle of competition, constantly striving for more.

This is the feeling we believe is happiness. The problem with this model is that you are relying on things outside of yourself to make you happy. And your level of happiness seesaws between ecstasy and despair depending on how well you believe you are doing in comparison to how you see other peoples’ success or failure.

The other way we try to create happiness is by reducing our pain level.

In other words, if our emotional pain is less, then we must be happier, right? So finding ways to numb our pain produces a feeling of well-being or happiness, at least in the immediate moment. The problem with this tactic is that over time we become desensitised to the method of pain numbing; shopping, alcohol, drugs, sex etc; so that we need to do more of these things to get the same result. This puts us on the same seesaw as the paragraph above. Again, we are relying on something outside of ourselves to make us happy and are therefore powerless to maintain our sense of joy when things change.

The only place to find true sustainable happiness is to look within. If you look ‘without’ you will go without!

The contentment, stability and comfort you find in knowing you are your best friend, that you never need to feel alone and that you already have everything you need is liberating. It’s like magic! Your fear, insecurity and pain melt away like frost on a sunny morning. And just like the sunshine after the rain, your heart feels lighter, there is a Mona Lisa smile hovering around the corners of your mouth, your head lifts as you look out through eyes which are bright with anticipation.

When you look at your life through the eyes of gratitude, happiness is the automatic result. Events will occur around you, there will be loss and things will change. But with a clear sense of who you are, your happiness can remain intact.

Happiness is not always the feeling of euphoria we are led to believe. Sometimes it’s just the choice to be grateful, to focus on the good and to let go of any feelings of anger, rejection or frustration as you know they do not add to your life.

This is a position of extreme power. Here you understand you have the freedom to choose your responses and therefore your happiness.

Have a think about this and see how you can add more happiness to your life!

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