Allanah Hunt

The Two Most Powerful Words You Can Use

by Allanah Hunt | Jun 5, 2015 | It's All About You, Manifestation

I wish … if only … when …

I hear these words often when listening to people talk about their life. And the words which follow these statements are generally linked to their deepest desires, their true nature and their hope for something more or something different from their current experience.

Do you use these words?

I used to use them often,

always hoping or wishing for something to change but not really believing that it would. I would buy a lottery ticket in the hope that someday I would win the jackpot but knowing in my heart that it was highly unlikely that I would win anything. I think for most of us, this is a vain hope and that we are aware it is about as probable as flying to the moon!

But I also used to use them for things which were closer to home.

If only I was slimmer
I wish I was braver
I wish I was smarter
If only I was prettier

These became the excuses for my life.

If I was slimmer I would be able to go to the beach, play with the kids in the park

If I was braver I would go out and meet new people

If I was smarter I would be able to earn more money

If I was prettier someone would love me …

And then I learned something. I learned the two most powerful words in the world.

I AM

That’s it. Just two simple words which transformed my life. When I changed my statements from I wish to I AM, everything changed.

I am slim, fit and vibrant

I am brave and fearless

I am smart and capable of anything I put my mind to

I am attractive and deserving of love

See the difference?

One is a hope, a wish for something, someday, sometime …

The other is a statement of fact. And whatever comes after the words ‘I AM’ is said as a reality that already exists. When you claim something as already yours, even when you can’t see it in the mirror, you demonstrate belief. Faith if you like.

It is the belief that something is true, even if you can’t see it yet, that makes it true. Not in some airy fairy way but in the way others respond to you. When you act as if your statement is true, behave as if it were true, other people start to see the difference. And as they see it and treat you differently, this reinforces your belief until you can see it in the mirror.

So the next time you ‘wish’ or ‘hope’ for something … change your statement to be fact in this moment.

I AM ….

Speak what you want as a fact and it becomes the truth.

5 Ways To Avoid Bitterness

by Allanah Hunt | Jun 4, 2015 | Emotions, Law of Attraction, Manifestation

Bitterness comes when you focus on what’s gone wrong and feelings of hurt. The problem with bitterness is that you can live your whole life seeing the world as a hurtful place which is out to get you. This isn’t the truth but simply a reflection of how you choose to see it. The world is full of wonderful people, fabulous experiences but you will only embrace this when you leave bitterness behind.

Here’s a few ways to get started.

Forgive Everyone Who Has Hurt You

We often confuse forgiveness with an acceptance of the words or behaviour which caused the pain but forgiveness has nothing to do with allowing others to hurt you or giving permission for the behaviour to continue. Creating clear and strong boundaries is essential if you are to have a life of happiness.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart

Forgiveness is a choice you make for you. It has nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with your desire to be free of the past, to move beyond the pain and to embrace a new perspective. Holding on to your feelings of betrayal, anger and hurt is to allow the hurtful actions of another to continue to impact your life.

Don’t you think being hurt once is enough?

Focus On Gratitude

Bitterness grows when you focus on the hurt you feel and therefore the fastest way to reduce bitterness is to focus on the things you love about your life. Start with the little things. Focus on the roof over your head, kind friends, family, your job or simply the sun outside your window. As you shift your focus to things to be thankful for, you will start to see more reasons to love your life.

Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have

Bitterness and gratitude cannot exist together so focus on thankfulness and see your bitterness disappear.

Take Responsibility For Your Feelings

When you blame others for the events which occur in your life you become jaded and untrusting. Whilst events will occur around you which will impact on your life, blaming someone or something leaves you powerless to create your own life. It is only when you understand you are responsible for your own emotions and actions, that you have a choice about how you feel, that you will begin to reclaim your power.

The day you stop blaming others is the day you begin to discover who you truly are

You will not feel hurt unless you choose to bring those feelings into your present life. Taking this first step will help you move forward with your own life free of the pain of the past.

Take Control Of What You Can Change

If you look at the world long enough you will see many cases of destruction, chaos, corruption and devastation. No matter how angry or sad you feel about this there is nothing you can do to change it.

What you allow is what will continue

All you can do is take control of your own life and build happiness where you are. As you create happiness in yourself you have the opportunity to spread this to your little corner of the world. Change what you can and allow everything else to run its course.

Give To Others

Bitterness builds when we feel isolated and powerless. Decide to get involved in the world around you by volunteering to help others. Give unwanted clothing to a charity, visit an elderly person in your community, encourage others to make real connections and support people who are having a tough time.

We rise by lifting others

Offer your unique skills to help others and watch your bitterness disappear. As you help others you help yourself.

Bitterness is like drinking poison every day. Stop killing yourself slowly and choose this minute to focus on what is great about your life. Focus on giving yourself the kindness you deserve.

Does Having More Friends Make You Happier?

by Allanah Hunt | Jun 3, 2015 | Emotions, Relationships

How many friends do you have?

I don’t mean people you associate with at work, people you know through other people or people you meet at the gym, the pub, the walker’s group. Real friends. People who actually love you and who you love in return.

There was a time in my life where I had no friends, was bullied at school and didn’t get on with my family. I looked around and saw groups of people hanging out together, you know, the popular kids, and thought if only I was a part of them, I would be so happy.

But I was shy, slightly gawky and very awkward around people. My social skills were non-existent and I was genuinely someone people regarded as very strange. I understand the reasons now but at the time, I was heartbroken and would have done anything to have a friend.

In fact, I remember one particular girl at school. I must have been around 11 or 12 years old and I think she was new to my class. I latched on to her and was so desperate to finally have a friend that I drove her away with my neediness.

So back to being alone for me – how I wished to be part of a large group of friends like the other girls.

Whilst at one time I truly felt that the more friends you had, the more love you would find, fast forward to today and I find myself immensely grateful for my small band of loyal, loving and supportive friends.

I discovered that in fact having meaningful friendship with a handful of wonderful people is far more valuable than having superficial conversation with lots of them. It is the real and fulfilling relationships you create with those to whom you have a real connection that will add to your happiness. Quality not quantity.

Case Study

I know someone who believed he had tons of friends. He thought he was super popular and people loved him. When tough times hit, he discovered that the people he believed were his friends all melted away and he was alone. Perhaps they were there for the free food and entertainment he offered, perhaps it was the work opportunities they thought he could get them or perhaps they felt more important by being seen to be friends with him. Reflected glory if you like.

Today, he has very few friends as I’m not sure he trusts many people to get close to him. Underneath the showman, the popular funny man is someone with a heart of gold, someone who would do anything for anyone and someone who is generous to a fault.

He discovered that in fact having lots of friends was a lonely place to be. He discovered that his life now, with just a few important people, people who genuinely love and appreciate him is far happier than it ever was. His ego may have been bruised and his heart broken but today he is more real, more genuine and more content than ever before.

So how do you know who your real friends are?

Take a look around. Notice the people who make the effort to keep in touch, the ones who are there when you are having a hard time, the ones who tell you their secrets (not gossipers but those who confide in you), the ones who greet you with a genuine smile that reaches their eyes and those who when they hug you, you feel genuine warmth.

These are the people to value. These are the friendships which will add to your happiness just as you add to theirs. It is the mutual benefit, the give and take that you are able to offer each other which forms the basis of real friendship.

Guard these beautiful people with your life as you will only ever have a handful if you are fortunate.

In this funny video we see Sheldon from Big Bang Theory using his powers of logic to create a friendship algorithm. He makes a call to someone he knows and endeavours to use his algorithm to set up a time to connect.

Watch what he discovers … just for a laugh x

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How Do You Say Goodbye?

by Allanah Hunt | May 31, 2015 | Emotions, Relationships

Don’t you hate it when people say ‘let it go’ or ‘just move on’? It sounds so trite, so simplistic and you and I both know that when your relationship ends, letting go can feel impossible. Not only have you lost someone you have shared everything with, but also your hopes and dreams for the future. A future that now stretches in front of you in an endless stream of nothingness. A future so terrifying that you cannot begin to imagine how you will live it.

And if you let go of the life you had for so many years, where does that leave you? With all your energy focused on the life you had together, suddenly you don’t have a purpose.

Now that it’s just you, it doesn’t feel enough.

You don’t feel enough.

And so you stay stuck in the moment when everything you knew about yourself, everything you knew about your life and everything you knew about your future, was shattered.

Paralysed by the shock of the reality of the changes you face and feeling powerless to do anything else.

Staying exactly where you are, in some kind of limbo waiting for the pain to end, waiting for you to feel better, waiting for someone to help you, is the most painful place of all. You can wait your whole life away …

‘how to heal your pain, understand your loss and build a life of joy, love and promise .…. for women of all ages and most particularly for those who have worked so hard to be the best wife, mother, partner and lover they could be, only to find that the dream they toiled so long to create has vanished into thin air’

A poignant and inspirational guide which takes the reader beyond the pain and disillusionment of separation and divorce to a world of possibility and freedom. A powerful and insightful book which challenges our perceptions and expectations about marriage and relationships. A truly remarkable look at the ideals that women aspire to and the devastating effect that their failure to meet them has on their lives.

Buy The Book

Letting go is hard but sometimes holding on is harder

The only person who can stop the waiting and the only one who can ease the pain, is you. Without you, your life will be controlled by circumstances beyond your control, you will constantly live in fear of what disaster will befall you next.

I think I am afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens

Whether you realise it or not, you already have everything you need inside you. Within you is all the power you will ever need. You hold more power than you could possibly imagine and you can use this power to hold on tightly to what is gone, or to build something new.

Life goes on, whether you choose to move on and take a chance on the unknown or stay behind locked in the past thinking of what could have been.

Your power exists in this moment, right now. You have only to reach out and claim it. Perhaps it is hiding away in a dark corner, covered in cobwebs, lost a long time ago but waiting patiently until you decide to find it again. I promise you that even if you can’t see it, it is still there. You are still here.

Your power is you. You cannot live without you. You will exist – that is all.

I don’t know about you, but that is not enough for me.

If you agree that it’s not enough for you, if you can say ‘amen’ to this statement, then you have reclaimed your power. In this moment you have decided you will not allow this event to define your life. You have chosen to stop being a victim, chosen to stand up for yourself and chosen to be more than you ever thought possible.

This is your defining moment. The moment you say ‘enough’, this ends now …

You do not need to ‘let go’ but simply to take a step toward you. As you become completely connected to you, everything which doesn’t belong in your life simply falls away.

Start small
Take yourself for a walk in nature
Start a journal to record your thoughts and feelings
Try something new
Help someone
Show kindness
Make a new friend

And before you know it, these simple actions will begin to show you who you are. They will allow you to rediscover the person you are and help you define who you want to be. Slowly but surely, little by little you will build a new foundation for your life. A foundation which can never be shaken, can never be taken away from you and one that you can build your life on for the whole of your life.

Do not look ahead but simply focus on this moment right now. Today, in this second you are creating your future. You don’t need to know how it will look as it will unfold before you as beautifully as a butterfly wing. Connect with you, keep you at the centre and follow your heart.

Sure you will have sad days. There will be times when you feel overwhelmed by your emotions. Days when you question yourself and feel lost and alone. But when those moments come, accept that they are a part of you just now, allow them to be and bring yourself back to you.

And one day you will discover that you don’t hurt so much. That in fact you went a whole day without thinking about your partner, a whole week without thinking about your old life. One day you will realise you have found peace within yourself and that you can smile again. One day you will understand that you are free from the past, that you have ‘let go’ without realising it and that your life is your own.

This is a day to celebrate. This is the day you will know you have found yourself, found your best friend and that you are finally living. No longer existing as a shell of the person you once were, but living fully, enjoying each moment and with hope for the future. Building your life one moment at a time and open to what the future brings knowing that you are strong enough, brave enough, loving enough, fabulous enough … enough. More than enough.

You have said ‘Goodbye’.

10 Ways To Build Greater Self-Confidence

by Allanah Hunt | May 25, 2015 | It's All About You, Manifestation, Relationships

Self Confidence is the most attractive quality we can have and yet its one we often struggle with. Brought up in a world where we are taught that its better to fit in than to stand out, we hide our uniqueness behind a wall of ‘normality’ which keeps us small.

But if you want more than mediocrity in life; if you want trust, love, success, joy and happiness, you need to become more of yourself. It is only by sharing your fabulousness, your unique and wonderful self with the people around you that you will attract the same in return.

Getting to know and love yourself through acceptance and understanding will build the self-confidence you need to fully embrace your life.

Push Yourself Beyond Your Comfort Zone

It is tempting to keep doing what you know, to stay in your comfort zone. The idea of doing something new, of pushing the boundaries of your experience may seem scary but the rewards are incredible. When you achieve something you never thought you could, you get to see yourself in a new light. And each time you push a little bit further, you discover more about what you are capable of. Its never as scary as you tell yourself it is.

Embrace Your Personal Style

We are bombarded by messages in magazines, television and by the big brands which tell us how we should look, what we should wear, and how we should behave. But remember that fashion is transient and what is ‘in’ today will be ‘out’ tomorrow. It is the constant turnover of style which generates income for big business and adds to our sense of insecurity. Becoming yourself in a world which wants you to be a clone may sound impossible but developing your own personal style will help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

Ask For Help

When you worry, you start to doubt yourself and your abilities which in turn undermines your confidence. It may feel uncomfortable to ask for help but the rewards are twofold. You learn something new or find a solution to a difficulty but more importantly it’s a chance for you to connect with someone else. They feel privileged to be asked, grateful for the opportunity to be able to help and both of you come out feeling on top of the world. You may even make a new friend!

Trust Your Gut

We all have a tiny voice which whispers to us and lets us know whether something feels right or wrong. Following the crowd will make you feel insecure as you are dependant on people around you to make you feel good about yourself. People are fickle and you may be accepted today but rejected tomorrow. Reconnecting with yourself allows you to hear your intuition more clearly and by following your gut, you make decisions which are right for you.

Cover All Your Bases

Taking care of your physical and mental health is a great way to be ahead of the ball game. The one certainty in life is that things will change but by building resilience and resources in yourself, you can ensure that you have reserves of strength and fortitude for the times when life throws you a curve ball. Eat healthily, exercise and take time to be alone and you will create a strong connection which will see you through the most difficult storms of life.

Be Willing To Put Yourself Out There

Good things will not come to you if you are sitting on the sidelines of life. The fabulous job, the wonderful partner, the great friends will not drop magically in your lap no matter how hard you wish for them. If you want more in life you have to be willing to go out and get it. Get clear about what you want and then take the actions which will bring it to you. At each step along the way, check in with yourself to ensure you are on track. But remember, sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. Don’t be so focused on your goal that you fail to see what is right in front of you.

Never Apologise For What You Love

The things you enjoy are a reflection of you, your personality and your quirkiness. We are all a little weird but if your express your weirdness, you will attract like minded people. How miserable it is to go through life playing a part with people just so they will like you. Much better to be true to yourself and find the people who share your interests and passions. As you express yourself through the things you love, you feel more connected to yourself bringing joy to you and others around you.

Embrace Your Inner Child

Life as an adult is filled with to-do lists, responsibilities and schedules which can leave us feeling stressed and frazzled. Taking a step back to do something fun helps you balance your life and brings joy and positive energy. Go to the children’s playground and sit on the swing, roll down the nearest hill, make a play-doh person, colour in a picture, or build a tower with blocks. Hang out with a child and watch the world through their eyes. Just be in the moment with no thought about how it may look to someone else. Connecting with your childlike self brings freedom and joy.

Celebrate Your Achievements

We work so hard to achieve but often fail to pat ourselves on the back when we get there. We shrug it off as if it is nothing, set a new goal and keep moving forward. But when times are difficult and you feel you are making no progress, it is vital to be able to see how far you have come. Celebrating your wins gives you the confidence to take on a new challenge with the knowledge you can achieve it.

Fake It Till You Make It

Confidence can take time to build but you can ‘act’ confident anytime you choose. What does a confident person do? Take note of the way they stand, the way they smile, the eye contact they make and copy their actions the next time you need a dose of confidence. You may initially feel like a fraud but if you push through you will discover that in fact you already have everything you need.

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