How many times have you given yourself a hard time for not being where you want to be? Whether it’s business goals, a New Year’s resolution, a new skill or just one of those many things you’ve started but never completed, we all have times when despite our desire for things to be ‘different’ we just can’t seem to take the action that will get us there.
It’s frustrating, debilitating and downright detrimental to your self-esteem and self-belief. You know you can do it, you can visualize it being your reality but … for one reason or another, it’s just not happening for you.
So let’s take a look at five of those reasons and see if we can figure out what’s truly going on. Take note of the reasons that feel familiar or true to you but do yourself a favour and read to the end as that’s where I’ll bring it all together and give you some tools to move yourself toward your goals.
I Have Too Much Else To Do …
Busyness has become an obsession in our fast moving world. There’s work, the kids, the house, friends, obligations, activities, technology, other people’s expectations … sometimes it feels like we’re on a merry-go-round that we can’t get off.
But if you break it down, how much time do you spend doing each of the ‘must do’s’ on your list? How many hours a day, a week, a month do these things consume? If you were to keep a time-sheet of your busyness for an entire month, you might be surprised at how much free time you actually have access to.
Even if you are an exceptionally busy person, there are ways to prioritise your activities to make space for the things that are important.
It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about? – Henry David Thoreau
I’ll Do It When …
This is one I’ve used many times and to be honest, it still comes up for me from time to time. NOW just doesn’t feel like the right time. In reality, I’m simply putting off something that I could start today.
This could sound like:
- I’ll start my new eating program on Monday – it just doesn’t make sense to start today
- I’m working on other things right now but once I’ve finished those, I’ll get right on it.
- I’ve got a super jammed schedule this week but next week looks better – I’ll start then
- It’s taken this long to start, a bit longer won’t make any difference
Don’t wait until the perfect time to begins something important. Sometimes later becomes never – Allanah Hunt
It’s Really Not That Important …
When we’re struggling to take action towards goals we know are vital if we are to live the life we truly want, it’s easy to convince ourselves that it doesn’t really matter.
This might sound like:
- Yeah, it’d be nice to finish that project but it’s not as if I’m going to end world hunger
- I guess if it was important to me, I would have done it by now
- It’s not really going to make that much difference to my life
- My life is okay as it is – I don’t need that thing to be happy
All of these sound valid and reasonable, and all of them will stop you in your tracks.
I Need More Information Before I Can Start …
I love learning and have spent many years gathering information. My brain is full of knowledge but all the knowledge in the world, will not help me take action towards my goals. Information is stored in a part of the brain that is very different from the action taking section.
I know so many entrepreneurs who get stuck in this place. The search for knowledge is admirable and often necessary, but it’s easy to stay in the learning loop and never use it to catapult you to what you want.
This may sound like:
- Once I know how to do this … I’ll be flying
- I don’t understand how that technology works
- I need to create a system for that
- I’m not sure what the best plan is for me
Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action – Jim Rohn
Something Came Up …
There are times of course when life temporarily gets in the way of our goals and we must turn our attention to something else. However, it is easy to look at all the other things that ‘come up’ and forget to turn out focus back to what we desire for ourselves and get back on track.
There will always be distractions or something in your periphery vision, sometimes valid but most simply designed to take your focus away from the changes you want to make.
And then there’s ‘shiny object syndrome’ (SOS) which I work consciously to ignore but something that still plagues me from time to time.
SOS may sound like this:
- That was a good idea but this one is better
- What if I was to do this instead?
- I’m not sure if I like that … I think I’ll start again
I remind myself that the path to achieving my goals is dedicated, persistent and aligned action. Progress is one foot in front of the other in the same direction whilst leaving space for inspiration to guide you.
All of the reasons above are real and at times they are appropriate. But sometimes these are stories we tell ourselves to ‘let ourselves off the hook’.
There’s a couple of things going on that when any of these or other reasons come up.
Firstly, your brain is designed to keep you safe and will send out an automatic ‘warning’ message when you start to do something new. The message is heard as a doubt and often followed by a seemingly rational reason not to take action. This is your brain’s job but you get to make the ultimate choice. Unfortunately, many of us get stuck here and second guess our desires. Doubt can feel like your intuition, but it’s often just your brain alerting you to the fact you’re taking an action you’ve never taken before.
You can use a simple technique when you hear that little warning voice. Thank your brain for taking such good care of you and ask it to support you in what you want to do. You may need to do this several times, you may need to do it every time you sit down to focus on what you want for a while, but if you keep taking action, your brain will catch up as it understands and adapts.
And secondly, sometimes what you want is not aligned with your values. We are all driven by the desire to meet some fundamental needs. The fastest and most efficient way to push through any internal resistance and find your true motivation to take action, is to tie what you want to your highest values.
According to Tony Robbins, the key six human needs we are all driven by are:
- The need to feel loved and connected to others
- The need to feel important or belong
- The need to know what to expect
- The need for the excitement of something new
- The need to evolve and grow
- The need to give to others or make a difference
When you are able to identify the top one or two needs you are driven to meet in your own life, and tie your desired outcome to what drives you, you will no longer hear the reasons that stop you from taking action towards your goals. You will be determined, focused and do whatever it takes to create what you desire for yourself.
*Tony Robbins has a simple 10 question test you can take online to help you discover the human need that is driving your decisions. You will need to give your email address to get the results but you can unsubscribe at any time. Discovering this one secret could open the doors to everything you’ve ever wanted but never been able to create
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